We're going on vacation!! Just a matter of hours!! Woot woot! *sigh* I'm terribly excited, can you tell? I'm terribly tired too. No sleep. Not since last night. I've been up all day making sure everything is done. I am coming back to a clean house! The only thing I'll have to do is laundry, (from the trip), and more than likely dust. Our house is an extreme dust magnet. *double sigh*

I suppose I should try to relax a bit. I know I won't sleep. I never do before a trip. Back is really starting to ache though! Post on the return!
I was driving back from the store today, with my girls in tow, when this little boy ran across the street. It wasn't any old side street or neighborhood road, but a very busy main road with 4 lanes of traffic, speed limit 45mph. As he darted across, (head held high, arms pumping doing his best Carl Lewis impersonation), and I carefully pushed my breaks, the question posed itself. When did we become vincible?? Clearly he had no idea that I even hit my breaks. I knew he was going to run before I even got close. As I think about it, flashes of Lorne Green's New Wilderness dash through my mind. Gazelles escaping an oncoming attack. Seeing the shift in his body you just knew he'd run.

So, when does it happen? When do we go from being so invincible that the world is literally our playground to recognizing our own mortality? My children believe they can do anything, especially my youngest. Nothing scares them...except maybe a house rattling clap of thunder. :)

It's amazing and a bit sad at the same time. We go through so many changes over the course of our life. Most of us no longer have free abandon of that of an 8 year old. We've pulled in the reigns a bit. I believe that's a necessity, in my life anyway. There are moments though when I escape "adulthood" and forget. When I'm running a kite trying to keep it going, splashing in the waves, skipping rocks, playing tag or dancing with my kids I am free. Nothing else matters, just them and I. I hope those moments never stop happening. For you see it's then. if only for a moment, I too am invincible!

I used to be able to encircle my thigh with my hands, not quite touching, but only an inch gap...that was several years ago! It's amazing how you change. How the body changes. Granted I don't want to be that little again, it blows me away to know I was so tiny!! I mean crazy tiny, I had a mad metabolism!!

So I'm thinking, I need to set myself a goal. A realistic goal mind you. So, I'm thinking 10lbs by summer would be nice. Nothing drastic I realize, but doable. Baby steps! Baby steps! That's my short term goal. I'd like to lose another 10-20 over the summer, (as I figure I'll be far more active). I'd love to be down 30 by the end of the year. Thirty pounds is my ultimate loss goal.

It is amazingly cold! Alright, alright, it has been far colder this winter, but to go from 61 one day to 20 the next is really incredulous!! How does one function like this?? Supposedly it'll be warmer for a bit. I love to imagine summer and all that it entails, but it's so hard to do so when dealing with the current craziness that is the weather! I can't make heads nor tails of it.

You know, when I was little it was March was either in like a lion & out like a lamb or vice-versa. That would mean, we've begun quite lamb-like. So we're to expect the lion?? It seemed to work that way when I was a child...I can't help but hope for more lamb!! After all, I believe we've already been experiencing April showers a tad early!!

Keep those fingers crossed & thoughts warm!!

Oh.My.God! I am so sore!! All this working out has been/is great! I'm really feeling good, but everything but my eyelids hurt! My stepper came in yesterday. All the exercises coupled with that, Wooo Boy! LOL! Seriously, when I got the stepper I hopped on it right away & tried it out. Of course it didn't seem that difficult, so I kept doing it. I'd go do things & hop back on & the cycle continued! To top it off, Sarah & I spent the day shopping, the entire day. My thighs are on fire, but it's good. A good sore!! Can't wait to see the results. (BTW, it was 65 degrees out again today, which is fabulous, but the mall was 87 degrees! I think I lost an 8th of my body weight due to complaints here. I'd stay in 1 store longer if they'd get their sh!t together though!)
I'll lead off with the 25 recently played songs on my ipod. (Follow up to J. Lancaster's listing).

1. Paid My Dues -Anastasia
2. It Don't Make A Difference To Me -Kevin Michaels
3. Rock The Boat -Aaliyah
4. Anyway You Want It -Journey
5. How Far We've Come -Matchbox Twenty
6. You're My Best Friend -Queen
7. Whatever You Like -T.I.
8. Slow Dancing In A Burning Room -John Mayer
9. Sea Breeze -Tyronne Wells
10. The Luckiest -Ben Folds
11. Welcome To Paradise -Green Day
12. We're Young & Beautiful -Carrie Underwood
13. Sweet Love -Trisha Yearwood
14. Rock Steady -The Whispers
15. Like A Feather -Nikka Costa
16. Live Until I Die -Clay Walker
17. You're Unbelievable -EMF
18. Under The Bridge -Red Hot Chili Peppers
19. Let's Do It Again -TLC
20. Come Rain Come Shine -Ray Charles
21. I'm Glad There Is You -Grover Washington, Jr.
22. You and I -Michael Buble
23. Pieces -Pieces Of A Dream
24. Not Ready To Make Nice -Dixie Chicks
25. She Is Love -Parachute

It's an odd assortment, but you know, it's me! Totally all across the board, but music makes my day!

So, I'm doing all these little exercises & feeling pretty good about it! I ordered a couple of DVDs to do & am getting excited! The weather will be warmer tomorrow & I'm itching for spring!

I have to admit, I have a few defeatist I see some Skinny Minny on the tube & wonder if maybe I should be more accepting of my current state...can't do it. Granted I may not be a size 3 again, but I want to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin. You know, I really can't figure out where all the years went to!!

DH & I are making healthier choices and are hoping to set a good examples for the girls. I think we've done good thus far, but I think we need to be more active individually. I really don't want them to be afraid to have solo ventures and succeed! I may head up to the gym this weekend & sign us up. Be a bit more proactive. Just finished J. Lancaster's Pretty Fat and had a bit of an epiphany. Well, I'm sure I'm not the only one, but sometimes when you see something in print or hear it said aloud, it hits you right between the eyes. It's basically realizing I've kept myself from changing my body by worrying of how people may view me working out. (Mainly because I was a good 20lbs last time I was really working out at the gym). I've got up the gumption & I'm just going to do it!! Super excited!!

Grabbing life by the horns people!! I'm 33.5 & this is going to be a banner year!! I'm not expecting great things to happen, I'm just going to make them happen! Well, better hit the hay.
Alright, so I decided I needed a blog of my own as I begin this weight loss venture. Mind you, I'm not terribly overweight. According to the Army Weight Charts, I am 8lbs over their maximum weight limit for my age group...So being over the maximum isn't ideal, but it's not as bad as I thought. That's also assuming my scale is accurate-I tend to believe it's off by a good 10lbs. HA! Going off the scale, I am 181.75lbs. *sigh* I am 5'9" though, so that's my only saving grace as I am fine boned. I carry it well, but I don't want to carry it at all anymore.

I began working out today at home. We're going to join the gym, but until that happens, I can't sit idly by and do nothing...not any longer anyway! This morning it was just Jillian & I. Jillian won. I hung in there though, but WOWEEE I can feel my gams & I haven't felt that in some time! I'm trying my darnedest not to have a soda. I did have 1cup of coffee though & I did have a Boston Creme donut. You can't expect me to quit cold turkey!! Besides that I am not one to let food go to waste...especially in these economics times...did I convince you??

So, I ate my last donut. Boston Cremes are my weakness & tomorrow hopefully I won't have coffee. Whew, that's a big commitment but it's me or my waistline & by golly I'm gonna win!
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